Finally the last of the

Finally the last of the tape came off! I actually had to pull the last bit off - it was attached to undamaged skin only.

Back at Work

So I've been back at work for two days.  I caught myself in bad posture several times yesterday (and probably didn't catch myself more!) and by the evening my neck was a little sore.  It used to be that I couldn't sit with anything but good posture for more than a few minutes without my neck letting me know.  I was more thoughtful today and felt better.  I'm tired by the end of the day and not up for doing much - today I did a little work cleaning up after the mouse in my pantry and then more or less crashed on the couch.  I haven't had problems with lifting, but heavy doors are a problem.

I slept without a bra last night, had to be a little more careful of my bruises, especially on the sides, but it was amazing to be able to do so!

I missed my second follow up appointment today because I was sure it was Friday, but it was supposed to be today, so I rescheduled it for Thursday.

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Drains (Caution: Graphic Photo)

The drains were the part of surgery I was least prepared for. I'm sure a large part of this was that my doctor hadn't really said anything about them except that he wasn't planning to use them. But some of it is also likely due to a combination of limited imagination on my part and the fact that I really hadn't seen any pictures. I'd heard drains described as tubes with small bulbs at the end that you have to empty from time to time. I think of a small bulb as something on the end an eye dropper, but these were bigger than the ends of turkey basters. Although if I'd thought of it, I guess I would have realized that there is no point in having drains if you only expect a few drops of excess liquid.

I only had to wear the drains for about 2 days, so I didn't have to do much in the way of drain care. I had to empty them a few times (2-3 times a day) and "strip" the tubes. Stripping the tubes requires holding the tubes shut and pulling on them to clear out all the liquid (a mix of blood and lymph) in them. It's actually a similar movement to stripping embroidery floss. Had I worn them longer I would have had to clean where they came out too, unfortunately, this meant I wasn't allowed to shower until they came out and by the time I got them out I was more than ready for a shower!

The drains weren't bad. They might have bothered me if I was squimish, but I'm not usually. And it would have been worth it to have the surgery anyway! The only thing I didn't like about the drains is that the plastic bulbs felt weird where it touched my skin, but I usually wrapped them in my shirt tails so I wouldn't feel them.

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I feel so much better

I feel so much better than i expected to! I expected my body to feel traumatized and it doesn't

Awake out of surgery and

Awake out of surgery and even with massive padding smaller! Two drains my throat is sore from the tube and i'm hungry!

On my way to surgery.

On my way to surgery. Looking forward to going back to sleep!

I've setup my phone so

I've setup my phone so i can do post-surgery updates as soon as i'm semi-coherent

The countdown is getting very short!

My surgery is on Monday - 3 more days!  Sometimes I think the 2 weeks off most pain relievers is the worst part of surgery.  Of course I strained a hip muscle biking ...

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Surgery Date!

I've set a surgery date! Monday October 6th with Dr DeMars. I was impressed with how much info Kaiser gave in the pre-surgery class, but my appointment was better - a video and discussion more focused on what the surgery is like than all the potential downfalls, although they covered them too. Except for the ones that were just laughable - "After the surgery you will have to wear a sports bra day and night for a month" (Kaiser pre-Reduction Class) A sports bra would be an upgrade from the orthopedic bra I wear day and night. Plus Dr DeMars' office gave me all my pre- and (expected) post- operative instructions in writing.

Lots of News - Only some of it good

So, after calling them several times and getting various, incorrect, estimates as to when I would finally hear back from Kaiser regarding what the committee said, they finally call to tell me that they are holding firm on the "must remove 500 g per breast" rule and since I don't have 500g worth of right breast, they won't cover my surgery. They gave me an quote in the $6800 range if I want to pay for it myself. Of course, none of the studies that support that decision were done on women with inverted sternums (which I have) and they don't take into account the fact that my rib cage is 29" around.

In the meantime, the pulled or strained muscle in my upper left chest (which was partially related my oversized-for-my-frame breasts in the first place) is getting worse, not better, because my breast pulls on it in a way that further irritates it.

The good news is I got my mammogram results and it's clean.

The expensive, but exciting, news is that I've decided that breast reduction is an investment in my future health and well being that I need to make and I'm going to pay for surgery myself. I am now surgeon shopping. It's a very different process when you are paying for the surgery yourself rather than going through insurance - you are actually treated like a customer. I believe I said earlier that plan B was to go to Thailand, but I've decided to have the surgery locally. That way I can do it with less time off work. Also, I remembered that last time I had surgery, afterwards all I wanted was to get home and into my own bed. Also, if I need a revision, if I got the surgery done in Thailand, I'd have to go back to Thailand for the revision - which removes any money savings. Plus, I really like the idea of recovering in my own bed - in fact, I have an appointment with a surgeon who is associated with the hospital that is literally 1 house away from mine. He actually does the surgery in a surgical suite in his office at the furthest medical office building from my house, but that's still close enough that I may even be able to walk home after surgery. Can't get much closer from recovery room to my own bed than that. And I like his credentials. If I like him, I'll probably schedule surgery with him.

My First Mammogram

So, I had my mammogram today.  It was NOWHERE near as bad as it is made out to be. I currently have a strained muscle in my chest and even with that it was fine. Okay, they do have to move the breast tissue around a bit to make sure it's all in the picture. But that's no different from a Cameo bra fitting where they make sure all the breast tissue is in the cup and not sliding off to one side or out of the top of the cup.  Or for that matter what I do every time I put on my bra to do the same thing.  And yes, the breasts are under pressure, but it's really not that much more than a sturdy compression sports bra provides, it's just at a different angle.  And it's only for a few minutes.  I wouldn't call it fun, but it's no more painful than many of the things we do for vanity - dancing in heels, waxing, plucking, wearing a girdle or corset or too small jeans so we look thinner than we are, etc.  Hell, it's less painful than going to the dentist.  This is for our health damn it!   Quit telling horror stories, quit putting it off, and just do it.

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Potential Setback

At the breast reduction class, they told us that the fact that we'd been referred and showed up for class meant that we'd been approved for surgery, but we didn't have a full choice on size because there was a minimum amount that had to be removed based on studies that showed how much was necessary for symptomatic relief.  Well, it turns out that my smaller right breast may not be large enough to remove that amount.  I wear a 30 GG - but a GG when you wear a size 30 band size apparently isn't that voluminous.  The doctor (more on him another day) said I'm a good candidate, but he needs to take my case to some committee for approval to make sure it will be covered.

<Insert Huge Sigh Here>

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  But even if Kaiser doesn't cover it, I'm still planning on getting a reduction.  Plan B has always been using credit card miles for a ticket to Thailand and having it done there.  This is how my sister gets her dental care and she can't speak highly enough of the quality of care.  And my naturopath pointed out that Thailand is the best place in the world for breast plastic surgery.  Really, the only drawback of Thailand is the traveling - I'd prefer to go home to my own bed after surgery and such a long flight a week after surgery sounds potentially miserable.

But in the meantime, I get to go for my first mammogram on Saturday, because it's a Kaiser pre-op requirement.  I'll be pissed if I get a mammogram and then end up getting my surgery somewhere that doesn't require it.  Because otherwise I have a couple years before I need to get my first mammogram - although I found out that Kaiser lets women self-refer for mammograms starting at age 35.

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Wedding Dress

I bought my wedding dress last week (at the thrift store.)  I'm not really into the whole wedding as production thing, so that part wasn't exciting.  The fact that I got a dress that was probably over $300 for $15, and in almost perfect condition - that was pretty good.  But the really exciting thing was that it is sized to fit a post-reduction me.  It's one of the many dresses and tops that are too small in the bust but fit everywhere else.  And by November, my bust will fit in it!!!!

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Finally an appointment!

I got the call this morning and I am scheduled with Dr Jewett for my pre-surgical appointment on July 17th!  Dr Jewett is not listed on the Kaiser website yet, so she must be the new-to-Kaiser plastic surgeon who was mentioned at my pre-Surgery class back in February.  I know you always hear that picking a good surgeon is important, so my indifference to who preforms the surgery may be surprising.  But I'm getting my surgery done at a hospital where I feel confident in the nurses, anesthesiologist, and other staff and the fact that my surgeon has (will have) surgery privileges there is, in my mind, as good as any other test. 

I'm excited!

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More than surviving

This last week has been a lot better.  My neck's been feeling better most of the time.  I haven't actually lost any weight per the scale, but my breasts have shrunk a little based on how my bra cups are fitting.  I've also learned that no matter how good my neck feels at night, taking one muscle relaxer - I can take one or two - leads to my needing more the next day (versus possibly even none.)  I still haven't heard from Kaiser about an appointment date, let alone a surgery date, but I didn't really expect to yet either.  It'd be nice if I did though!

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Still struggling, but on track

Yesterday I ended up behind the pain curve again.  I went to work with a heating pad on my neck (after sleeping the early part of the night on an ice pack) and only had one pill to take for my afternoon dose (I'm to take one or two up to every six hours as needed), which was not enough.  I worked with a headache all day from the tension.  Luckily, it didn't trigger a migraine and after work I refilled my prescription and went home to more ice.  I finally got in front of the pain this afternoon but was so wiped out that I spent most of the evening sleeping.  The good thing is that I haven't been very hungry, so hopefully I'll lose some weight in my breasts and be a little more comfortable soon!

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Muscle Relaxers

Luckily, I'm fully coherent on the muscle relaxers I got from my nurse practitioner last week, because they are the only thing keeping me ahead of the pain right now. (ie where it's controllable with Aleve and Tylenol.) As is I'm having to make sure I take them regularly and not let the tension build up too much. Hopefully, I'll lose some weight from the breast area soon to get back to even with what I lost in the torso in the last couple weeks. I find that my neck is actually more comfortable when I'm heavier - I think because there is more torso for my breasts to distribute the weight to. I'm tempted to try to lose a few pounds quickly (nothing unhealthy, just something like the Weight Watcher's quick start where you eat a minimal number of points for the week), but with my luck I probably still wouldn't lose it where I need to and I'd be hungry.

Surviving 'til Surgery

Yesterday afternoon I saw my nurse practitioner and got a shot of Toradol and a prescription for some different muscle relaxers. My neck is still tight and painful, but I feel like a human being again. I also went up to A Bra Boutique and bought a new bra. I'm down to a 30 in band size (from a 32 last time), but the cup size is up to a GGG from a GG/H. Actually the cups are a little small if anything, but they were out of II (the next size up) and since I've been going to Weight Watchers and losing weight for the last couple months, we figured the GGG was probably going to fit better than the II would soon. Apparently so far I've lost more fat around my chest than in my breasts. The fitter, who was fairly new, was amazed that even with the Colesce bras I'm still in so much pain that I am getting a reduction. I know that finding the Colesce bras, which are designed for orthopedic support, helped my neck pain a lot. But unfortunately, not enough to solve my problems. I can't imagine how painful it would be if I wasn't wearing well fitting bras! Maybe the reason I've been is so much pain lately is that with the weight loss I wasn't getting enough support from my existing bras - but I had gone down to the tightest setting on the bands, so it's hard to believe that would make such a difference.

The process

I have Kaiser insurance - which I like very much. I initially asked about a reduction a few years ago and was told that I didn't qualify because I don't have ruts on my shoulders. This is because I am capable of shopping and buy orthopedic bras that put the majority of the weight and stress on my chest, not the shoulders. I asked again this year at my annual gyn exam (and I have a different primary provider now) and was immediately referred for a reduction with no problems. Apparently the standards have changed and the neck and shoulder tension I have is enough. I currently wear a 34 GG/H bra and have to wear an orthopedic bra day and night to be even minimally comfortable. (Note: orthopedic bras seem to run about 1-2 cup sizes larger than standard bras, but that's still big!)

With Kaiser, the process is that you get referred by your primary practitioner, then go to "Breast Reduction Class", which I did a few weeks ago. I'm currently waiting for an appointment for my consultation with the surgeon. Then I have a pre-op visit for blood work and an EKG, the surgery, and three post-op appointments. Oh, and somewhere in there I have to get a mammogram before surgery, just to make sure there is no cancer.

In class, they tell you that you have to wear a sports bra day and night for a month after surgery like that's going to discourage you. I've been wearing a bra day and night for years, the thought that a month after surgery I can quit doing that is fabulous! More daunting is the fact that you can't lift your arms above your shoulders for a month. I think that is going to be hard to remember! But it all sounds better than dealing with the pain!

My neck hurts

I'm in the process of waiting for a breast reduction, I should have surgery sometime this summer or fall depending on the surgeons' and hospital's schedules. But some days, like today when my neck has been locked in spasm for several days and the muscle relaxers and pain killers I have aren't working, I don't know how I'm going to survive until surgery. When I don't hurt so much, I'm much more positive, and while I'm looking forward to surgery, I'm not in the rush I am when I'm miserable.